The Shocking Truth of Poems and ___________.

eminent/imminent/immanent...b/c I'm cool like that.

2010-04-14T08:17:00.001-07:00

Here's the usage in short from this website.

By far the most common of these words is “eminent,” meaning “prominent, famous.” “Imminent,” in phrases like “facing imminent disaster,” means “threatening.” It comes from Latin minere, meaning “to project or overhang.” Think of a mine threatening to cave in. Positive events can also be imminent: they just need to be coming soon. The rarest of the three is “immanent,” used by philosophers to mean “inherent” and by theologians to mean “present throughout the universe” when referring to God. It comes from Latin manere, “remain.” Think of God creating man in his own image.

When a government exercises its power over private property it is drawing on its eminent status in society, so the proper legal phrase is “eminent domain.”

The Academy Awards!

2010-03-08T10:59:00.000-08:00

If you want to check out my witty comments from the Oscars last night, please refer to my facebook.

If you just want to read a few more sentences about why I watched the whole show (well, starting at 8:04 when I got home, changed, and let the dog in and out), then keep reading! By all means!

First of all, I love the good-looking people in good-looking clothes. With that said, there were as many disasters as there were successes last night. For a detailed analysis of that reality, you can look here.

Really, I just love movies, and earlier in my life when I didn't see that many of them I always wondered what the point of a bunch of movies I'd never even heard of winning gold statues was...then I think Schindler's List or something like that did incredibly well both popularly (I saw it) as well as critically, and then it clicked (that was a long sentence!): good movies are moving AND fun to watch!

Therefore, next year, or, really, starting now, I will be seeing movies like crazy to see for myself which one should win in my humble opinion.

Prayer.

2010-03-03T08:38:00.000-08:00

This morning I was thinking that praying is kind of like magic water you can't stop drinking or the Turkish Delight Edmund couldn't stop eating in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Strangely, if I don't sit down and pray much, I don't obviously miss it immediately.

But when I spend time praying, I feel like I can't stop. It's never enough. I guess that's why the pray without ceasing comes in.

And I know there's not a day that I don't pray, but the time I spend very focused makes me feel my spiritual poverty even more, no matter how intensely I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Maybe that's just what relying on God feels like. Maybe loving God is just funny like that, with losing one's life to save it and all that.

And to tie poetry in--just seems to me that life lived in the bodily and in spiritual realms at the same time feels very adventurous and mundane at the same time. Fancy that.

Lent

2010-03-01T08:15:00.000-08:00

Second week of Lent and I'm enjoying part of my observance--giving up randomly surfing the web and mindlessly channel surfing. I can watch a certain show (which I've only done once since Ash Wednesday) and look up something specific on the internet--a.k.a. check my email, send a note on facebook, check that inbox, write on my blog, but not really anything else.

This observance has meant that I have spent more time reading books. Nice, huh? I feel a bit more peaceful and have had more prayerful quiet time, but at the same time, I just feel like I'm paring down a bit--nothing terribly spiritual about it. I've realized that I'm not the same highly disciplined person I was in high school--the girl who ran miles and miles, memorized trig tables and ion charts, and read the bible through in a year with great enthusiasm and dedication.

But you know what? I appreciate the discipline more. Now that it's harder for me in some ways, I appreciate the space it opens up for me mentally, spiritually, etc.

And in some ways I'm easier on myself. When I "fail" and look at facebook on my iPhone for a couple of minutes, I simply have for some reason chosen against myself, my own well-being, my own love for God--not some outside standard.

I just realized I love my life!

2010-02-24T08:49:00.000-08:00

Nice realization, huh?

A few more things:

Adam Lambert can sing! "Feeling Good" justifies all the hype and shuts out the naysayers. But then again Freddie Mercury is my favorite singer of all time (besides Kate) so this makes sense why I like him, huh? I'm just surprised I do considered American Idol folks usually get on my nerves, except Kelly Clarkson which I can't explain but I just really like her (and her music).

My dog doesn't like non-living things that move or make noise. She can tell the difference between inanimate objects and beings. So she spent thirty minutes barking at a balloon left over from my birthday. But then again she just likes barking I think. Now she's sleeping because she's tired from all the barking.

I also realized Belle my sweet Great Dane athlete dog and I would survive in the wild, at least a while, because she is a killer! She has killed at least three birds so far. We would have food to eat in the wilderness. I have mixed feelings about this because I love birds/birding, but a girl's gotta eat, right?

Why I enjoy watching CSI Miami

2010-02-17T09:58:00.000-08:00

I have watched an enormous amount of CSI Miami in the past couple years. I just got in to it; I love procedural drama. But it's true this show is "not as good as the original" or at least how good the original used to be.

But I was watching television the other night when the show came on. The case including dismemberment which is fascinatingly gruesome. About ten minutes in I realized the show is pretty to look at--pretty people, pretty images, beautiful buildings. At some point I heard someone describe the show as "very postmodern." That comment had something to do with the fact it dealt with minutiae and the big picture at the same time. I don't really get that, but I will say the show is beautiful!

The effects of light, transparent images, layering images, etc. makes it so pretty! I might look for a clip or some stills later, but if you tune in, try to see what I'm talking about!

Best Concerts Ever!

2010-02-13T10:16:00.000-08:00

I went to WinterJam 2010 last night in Mobile with our youth group. I will say that Michael Tait as the new singer for Newsboys is exciting, but I miss the Australian-accented vocals of the previous singer. Michael Tait is quite the entertainer. He reminded me of a non-sexualized version of Ruby Rod from The Fifth Element. And he told the audience, "you're like a huge black choir, made of a lot of white people." Then he rode a tiny platform 30 feet into the air, rappelled off, and almost crashed onto the teenagers below. Now THAT'S entertainment.

All of this had me reflecting on my favorite concert/live music experiences of all time.

1) Beach Boys at the MS Gulf Coast Coliseum. I was really young (elementary school), but as this was the first large venue concert I ever went to, it made quite an impression. I remember really young women in bikinis dancing around with the obviously much-older Beach Boys. Lots of beach boys bounced around the audience.

2) Jock Tamson's Bairns At Evergreen Pres in Memphis. Amazing. Probably the most exciting music I've ever heard live, with a great audience. I will never forget it. Alli and I tracked it down and loved it! I love Scottish folk music. Love love love!

3) Some other Celtic concert at a restaurant when I was in Germany. I had no idea who it was but it was awesome! I love small venues, which leads me too...

4) David Wilcox at the Walt's house. Something to do with humanitarian coffee-related house concerts, but it was exciting! And strange to be so close to an artist at work, but excellent.

5) Front Row for the Doobie Brothers at Memphis in May around 2002. Guitars on stands. Enough said.

6) Counting Crows at the same festival. Adam Duritz was super-high on something so it was kind of like a documentary about how messed up famous/successful people can get. I was seriously tired of walking and standing that day. I like concerts with seats a lot more.

7) Jennifer Knapp at some church in the D.C. area. My aunt and friend and I were the only ones to even budge at this small venue rock concert. Disconcerting how calm everyone else was but the music was great. This concert was probably one of the last ones before her years-long hiatus.

8) Vienna Boys Choir some point as a child when my parents brought me and my sister. In Gautier at MGCCC auditorium. Awesome. "True Colors" song was the highlight for me.

So, I know there are many more for me, and I'll add some. What are some of your favorites?

Flip a house!

2010-02-13T09:00:00.000-08:00

I love TLC's Property Ladder! On this show, "real people" decide to flip a house for the first time, and a veteran flipper (Kirsten Kemp) gives them advice that they mostly ignore. Pretty much every line out of the flipper's mouth is a quotation to remember.

"Quick question [to person on the phone]. Which wall to I paint red? The one on the left or the right?"

"I'm going to get my regulars from the bar to help me."

"I'm not going to hire any professionals."

"The most I've ever done is change a light bulb."

"It's just money, right?"

"This is so me! [about a renovation aspect in a house the person is trying to sell to someone else."

"Crown molding is very fun!"

"I couldn't really say it is any style [answer to the question of what style the bedroom is]."

In reality the flip goes pretty well, even with all the drama of the voice-over and the expert.

I'd love to flip a house! Not going to happen, but still...what satisfaction!

The episode I watched--4 months, 68k before fees. She's using the profits to go to graduate school and take a vacation. Nice!

Of course I'm pretty sure most of these attempts are a complete disaster, a la' The Money Pit.

Ugh last post was lame; something more fun! DVD's I'd like to have

2009-12-15T07:29:00.000-08:00

Not too far in to graduate school I realized that watching television shows on DVD's was highly rewarding aka marathon tv is a great break from 20-page papers. AND who wants to wait a week to see an episode. Watch a show that's already released on DVD and you're golden--instant gratification.

So, DVD's I'd like to have to enable to watch massive marathon tv:

1) all of House. I started watching this show on DVD and I regret not getting totally caught up.... and it's just so fun to see House be right over and over again.

2) How I Met Your Mother. I saw one episode of this show and LOVE IT. Would love to see it all.

3) Friends. Yes I know it's old, and a lot of you out there hate it I'm sure. I used to until my dear roommates watched it all the time, and I tried it out. Now all I have to think is "My Sandwich!" and my mood is lifted.

4) Get Smart. The old show. Love it so much, especially the (movie length?) one where they get engaged with the piece of the microphone.

5) The Simpsons.

6) NCIS. Because 3 times a day is not enough.

7) Perfect Strangers. Because I loved that show and I am curious why.

8) Golden Girls.

9) Arrested Development.

10) Law and Order. All of the 8 million seasons, all spin-offs. Makes my life's challenges look insignificant, or at least less violent or crime-ridden. And it's nice to know that some things stay the same, and procedural drama is, well, procedural.

11) Glee. Yes I am on the bandwagon. And it's the best wagon ever.

12) Entourage. Watched first half of season 1 and loved it, but then I never got the rest from the library ha.

13) True Blood to see what it's all about.

14) Deadwood b/c my sister talks about it and I'm curious. At least I think it's Deadwood.

15) Dr. Who. All of it.

16) Smurf cartoons.

17) Alf. Just kidding I am so scared of Alf.

Anyone, anyone?

Poetry Ebb-tide

2009-12-10T11:35:00.000-08:00

I realize now that I am a serious ebb tide for poetry in my life--both reading and writing. I probably couldn't care less about manufacturing poetry (which is what it feels like to me at times), and I decided it was ok that I'm not sad about that.

Maybe my life is the poem now. (ack, I know, cheesy/mushy/dreamy. That sentence makes my own skin crawl ha.)

But I keep having more and more ideas for creative projects, and I'm loving just being and not "trying." I have lots of ideas for paintings, for example. But I'm giving it time.

What do I do, then? Not much, but I try to catch at tv show or two a day. How I Met Your Mother is amazing! Saw it for the first time the other night. And Glee--crazy/delightful.

I don't really sit down much, so maybe the lull in creative activities is not bad. My hobby is resting.

So if my life is a fallow field, and somehow I am in my winter, then spring is somewhere around the corner, though I do like the cold.

IN HONOR--Twilight Saga and New Moon

2009-11-17T11:55:00.000-08:00

IN HONOR--Twilight Saga and New Moon
In honor of the movie version of New Moon--whose trailer honestly does not excite me much, rather cringe-worthy actually--I would like say a short couple of things.

1) The soundtrack to New Moon is fantastic and I have only spent 20 minutes listening to it.

2) which reminds me why I even care: the genius of the Twilight Saga is that recreates the intense emotional world of adolescence--which in turn is a key to understanding life. Teenagers are feeling deeply emotions that they have never know--kind of like Joe/Death in Meet Joe Black, which I have actually never seen but I get the idea of all his "firsts." Reading Twilight and the rest brought me back to the highly emotive place I was ten years ago when heartbreak was something new to me, when losing love really meant losing a large part of myself.

Stephenie Meyer's fairytale is not necessarily an example of the art of English-language literature, but it is a testament to the universal language of emotion and the heart: love. Love that doesn't care about religion, race, social ideals, etc.--love that reminds me a lot of God's own.

New TV of the season

2009-10-06T06:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, everyone. I have been watching a bit of tv since moving back to Mississippi--without a channel changer (remote)! That aspect alone should show my dedication to engaging the art/media of television. But if that doesn't, here's a bit of a hurrah I'd like to throw out there for some shows I've been watching.

1) NCIS--I LOVE this show. Tony is really growing on me, and I can't wait for him to get together with Ziva. Gibbs continues to be both amazing/annoying; his sniper shot in the first episode pretty much made the series for me. And it makes me laugh--crime and laughter together--God does love me. And Abby--just wonderful. I love her. According to one facebook quiz I am her.

2) NCIS II/: LOS ANGELES--I love shows with rappers (L and O SVU) but this one is not quite panning out for me. I will give it another shot but I think that this one will go by the wayside.

3) HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! Can't say more. The whole time I've watched it I get annoyed when anyone tries to make House nicer or attempts to fix him. I love him claiming his new direction in his own snarky way. Seems like he doesn't want to be an addict. Good for him. Let's see how long the resolution holds, huh?

4) GLEE--Amazing. I missed a could but the laugh/wow factor is just fantastic. And the awkward ridiculousness. Couldn't ask for more...and to think I was so skeptical to begin with.

5) The Office--I have abandoned the Office, I am sad to say. Maybe I will catch the past two seasons on DVD, but this is coming from a person who owns two copies of season 3 and pretty much survived on the show a couple of years back.

6) My Monkey Baby--I just can't believe this is a show. Is it more in the "Hoarders" genre" or "Kate Plus 8"? Am I supposed to be happy or horrified? Not sure. I am horrified, though.

Enough for now. What are you watching?

Impermanence

2009-08-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about things like impermanence and relinquishing, two things often linked to either Buddhist, Eastern, New Age, or self-help philosophies, aka not-so-Christian, at least by reputation. What's that got to do with me, then?

I let stress go. I let the things that go wrong go. Instead of getting mad, I just let go. What kind of things? Things I don't think are worth worrying about. For example, a little baby kid broke my necklace today. It's a very nice necklace. Do I freak out? I could. Am I sad? Not even a little bit. Why? Because I know that change happens. Things break. And I can make the unexpected change into something new and different, and maybe even better.

My broken necklace is not the end of the world. I embrace the unasked-for change because nothing besides God and our being in him that is eternal. That's all--nothing else. That's my version of impermanence. Nothing is forever. I do believe my soul, spirit, and body (at least glorified resurrection body) is forever, but not all the other stuff. I think it's this belief the rich young ruler was missing out on. He thought his stuff was really important. I know I've felt like that before.

But now I get the feeling that life is bigger. I am more than my money, credit history, job, clothes, reputation, jewelry, etc. Naked before God.

And as far as relinquishing is concerned, things about situations or people that would irk me to no end before, now I just let them go. Instead of dwelling on the annoying things a friend or acquaintance does, now I just let them go. I willfully give it up. I let God take it. And if it's really important (to God, eternity, etc.), I let God give it back to me. Then I listen to him on how to deal with it.

Another note on the rich young ruler from the Gospels. I think the people around him mostly just loved him for his money (except for his Mama, maybe). He didn't think people or God loved him without it. His social and financial assets were the only ones he was aware of. To have someone not care about the money--that was the difference. I honestly think Jesus did not really care about the money (St. Paul encourages people to use it wisely, and obviously Jesus didn't only eat miraculously). He just wanted this young guy to see what it felt like without all his crap.

Poetry and healthcare ? Possible ?

2009-08-20T09:07:00.000-07:00

So I have been hearing many advertisements and have read many articles concerning this giant healthcare program that has recently been put before our national decision-makers. I want all people to be taken care of and have access to the medical care they each need. On that same note I am a proponent of prenventive medicine aka taking care of oneself so that one doesn't become ill, at least from preventable disease such as heart disease and obesity- related illness.

Am I getting political? No more thani already am. I am one to solve problems more on the micro level anyhow, or with seemingly strange solution. Therefore I say that people who struggle with eating problems need affordable counseling. I think that affordable mental health care would solve many of the problems that abound. What if an internist couldn (or would) prescribe therapy with exercise? Why are people making bad health choices? Anyway, people could then be steered toward healthy ways of coping and healing. Instead most therapy sessions are out of reach for those without insurance or whose provider is not geared towrad including mental or holistic wellness. For me the problem is all about perspective. Why are people sick? What is the real problem? This reasoning is mostly out of my own experience with my own health.

Also if people read a lot more fun poetry, went on more walks, trained more puppies, and cooked more of their own food people would be a lot better off. And then medicine (the drug kind) can fit in with a general plan of wellness. Not that most md's have time to think about all this, but it be ideal. At least for me.

I advocate more good, clean fun! Maybe I should make a PSA.

Back in Business!

2009-08-09T20:49:00.000-07:00

What a summer!

I would like to say that Burn Notice is an excellent show. Michael Westen is amazing and Fiona...let's just say that wild hearts still can't be broken.

I now am the proud adoptive parent of a German Mastiff puppy named Belle. That really means she's a Great Dane but that's more or less a misnomer. She's fabulous.

I am working full time. Good times.

I just identified my favorite brand of handmade designer shoes: Magrit from Spain. I have 3.5" heels from them that actually don't hurt my feet. And everyone loves them, including me.

My sister is a fantastic poet. I think we might write books together.

Sarah Dessen is a good read.

Jobs I think would be fun.

2008-10-04T16:37:00.000-07:00

1) Flipping houses
2) Restoring houses
3) Making movies
4) magazine editor
5) making up comic book stories
6) writing sci fi
7) running a karaoke club
8) making up soup recipes for Campbells

I'm sure there are others. I'm graduating soon, so I suppose it's time I start thinking about my options. Ha.

Favorite Commercials

2008-10-02T17:09:00.000-07:00

I'm sure advertisers would love this, but...

I'm going to list some of my favorite commercials.

Currently:

1) The one where all the guys start singing Greensleeves. Is it a snickers commercial? Burger King?

2) "Ain't no bugs on me." Just plain cute.

3) "dot. COM!!!" Expedia, right? Can't stop saying "dot. COM now," no matter what the website.

4) anything with Mr. T or William Shatner trying to sell old people something.

Any others out there?

What is the local church?

2008-09-17T06:43:00.000-07:00

Both community and individualism...

Values:
Honesty
sacrifice
love--laying one's life down for a friend
discipline/discipleship
hospitality

Early Christians had to decide how Jewish they were going to be. The Holy Spirit really had to help them. The book of Acts, in chapter 15, describes this tension and situation.

The Council at Jerusalem:

1Some men came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching the brothers: "Unless you are circumcised, according to the custom taught by Moses, you cannot be saved." 2This brought Paul and Barnabas into sharp dispute and debate with them. So Paul and Barnabas were appointed, along with some other believers, to go up to Jerusalem to see the apostles and elders about this question. 3The church sent them on their way, and as they traveled through Phoenicia and Samaria, they told how the Gentiles had been converted. This news made all the brothers very glad. 4When they came to Jerusalem, they were welcomed by the church and the apostles and elders, to whom they reported everything God had done through them.

5Then some of the believers who belonged to the party of the Pharisees stood up and said, "The Gentiles must be circumcised and required to obey the law of Moses."

6The apostles and elders met to consider this question. 7After much discussion, Peter got up and addressed them: "Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the message of the gospel and believe. 8God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. 9He made no distinction between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith. 10Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of the disciples a yoke that neither we nor our fathers have been able to bear? 11No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are."

12The whole assembly became silent as they listened to Barnabas and Paul telling about the miraculous signs and wonders God had done among the Gentiles through them. 13When they finished, James spoke up: "Brothers, listen to me. 14Simon[a] has described to us how God at first showed his concern by taking from the Gentiles a people for himself. 15The words of the prophets are in agreement with this, as it is written:
16" 'After this I will return
and rebuild David's fallen tent.
Its ruins I will rebuild,
and I will restore it,
17that the remnant of men may seek the Lord,
and all the Gentiles who bear my name,
says the Lord, who does these things'[b]
18that have been known for ages.[c]

19"It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God. 20Instead we should write to them, telling them to abstain from food polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from the meat of strangled animals and from blood. 21For Moses has been preached in every city from the earliest times and is read in the synagogues on every Sabbath."
The Council's Letter to Gentile Believers
22Then the apostles and elders, with the whole church, decided to choose some of their own men and send them to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas. They chose Judas (called Barsabbas) and Silas, two men who were leaders among the brothers. 23With them they sent the following letter: The apostles and elders, your brothers, To the Gentile believers in Antioch, Syria and Cilicia: Greetings. 24We have heard that some went out from us without our authorization and disturbed you, troubling your minds by what they said. 25So we all agreed to choose some men and send them to you with our dear friends Barnabas and Paul— 26men who have risked their lives for the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 27Therefore we are sending Judas and Silas to confirm by word of mouth what we are writing. 28It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: 29You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. Farewell.

Well, after all these years, these are the only "expectations," but in the first-century Jewish context these few are obviously important ones.

Anyways, don't sin in your anger. Have a great day.

kids

2008-09-16T06:45:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about kids the other day, b/c I saw this appx. 10-year-old getting fussed at by his mom b/c he had someone else's bike, not his. She wanted him to get his.

And I started to realize why people make excuses and blame other people so readily; being responsible for one's actions is often not a default.

Is this because people are weasley? Maybe. Maybe they can't stand to get in to trouble for their own actions or be wrong.

Another option: child are born will a very strong will. A parent's job is to conquer that will and instill their own ideas and behavior standards in the child. The child's will is constantly overridden by the parent's.

So, fast forward fifteen years. A college student forgets to pay a bill, forgets homework, etc., and wants to blame someone else.

Possible reason: just likes to make excuses.

Another possibility: it's become ingrained that someone else is responsible--his or her thoughts, will, etc., are secondary. This person is learning that his will, which had to be overridden to develop, must now come to front and center again.

This seems like a confusing process. It's called growing up.

Things I learned from CSI

2008-09-01T07:24:00.000-07:00

No matter how bad you want a vagina, never have sex reassignment surgery in a storage locker.

If you die in a closed space, i.e. a body bag, you will turn to soup.

Don't go to Las Vegas. For that matter, don't go to Miami or NY, either, but really-- don't do to Las Vegas.

Just because you took stripper aerobics doesn't mean you'll survive as a performer at a real strip club.

CSI's are unusually good-looking and often have crushes on one another.

Any other lessons out there?

Closer

2008-06-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, tonight I watched the movie Closer, starring Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman, Jude Law, and Clive Owen. The synopsis on the back of the dvd case reads "finally, a love story for adults." I find that an apt description when the credits starting rolling. I actually really enjoyed it.

I was warned by the friend from whom I borrowed the movie, that it was "really bad, really dirty;" she told me she had bought it thinking it would be good because of the actors featured, but she was surprised about the actual film. Note: the R rating is warranted by sexual situations and language/descriptions.

Three other friends, of varying bashfulness, told me that it was really bad, pretty dirty, made them want to wash their brains afterwards, etc. Consequently I was expecting some really explicit sex scenes, at least some extremely raunchy "description" of sex.

What I got was about as kinky as what I learned on the bus in third grade. Well, what I learned then was not elementary-grade information, but nontheless it was nothing new. Also, there are strip club scenes, but nothing out of the ordinary for that type of scene. I thought that the fighting about sex between the couples was authentic.

Truly, Closer is a pretty good movie about relationships, especially in a disheartened world where God is a foreigner. Betrayal, lying, and honesty are in the center of this exploration of modern relationships. Alice/Jane, Natalie Portman's character, works off and on as a stripper, and is asking the question "what is love" throughout the movie. Really, all the characters are wondering about love, and what it means. One says commitment, another, passionate feelings, others--who knows? Loving someone seems to be some indefinable task or experience that has a lot to do with self-protection/actualization.

Lesson to be learned: Closer will NOT be the skankiest movie you will see this year, if you choose to borrow or rent it. It's actually a painful drama, and any empathetic viewer will most likely feel similarly.

More about living life

2008-05-06T05:33:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking (I know, uhoh), and I'm starting to realize that some things I thought were important to me, just weren't that important, e.g. looking good to other people or having an "important" job like an ambassador, legislator, stock broker, published writer. But really, it seems like that's more about living my life for others--not in the Christian sense--but in the sense that I am trying to impress other people.

Also, I realized that I love summer. I think I always want to have a summer. Therefore I am thinking more about teaching or ministry or some kind of job where you get to do fun stuff in the summer, and teaching high school sounds awesome, b/c then I could go on vacation in the summer, or sit around and watch tv, or draw pictures or something. Sound good to anyone else?

Comments are appreciated, but know that I know that teaching difficult/challenging. Also know that wanting to stab yourself in the eye every time an assignment is due, or that I have to do homework.

Would I want to inflict this pain on anyone else? Maybe.

The Logical Problem with "Calling"

2008-04-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

I've been working on a project with the Tel Dan inscription, so of course my mind is wandering a bit. I notice someone's online profile that spoke of their calling to a specific thing as a certainty. "God has called me to X." Or, this guy might have said, "I am called to be X." Well, the interesting thing is, if God is calling someone to something, it should happen, right? If someone is intentionally obeying God, pursuing holiness/righteousness, loving Jesus, etc., then they should eventually end up doing what they're called to do, right?

Well, what if someone fulfills those conditions but never gets to that thing she/she is "called to." Obvious answer: that person was wrong. But, do you see where I'm going with this? If you think you're in good with God, and you're being as faithful as you know how, and you convinced you're called to a certain thing, what if it never happens? Successful call stories only seem to be told in retrospect. If you don't do something, you conclude that you are actually called to something else. Or you could conclude that God hates your guts. Either way, things did not happen as you were wholly convinced, or at least hopeful, that they would. So in some ways it seems like calling, instead of being a job announced in the present, fulfilled in the future, maybe it's something else. Do you see what I'm saying? "Calling" seems to either be some kind of unreal expectation or either something read back into one's own personal history.

Maybe the idea of being call to some job, etc. isn't what it's cracked up to be. Maybe people just pick stuff, and if they are on good terms with God, then it works out for good. Maybe calling changes. Maybe some people get one and others don't. Maybe someone accidentally gets someone else's.

Any thoughts?

Blog: Resurrection

2008-03-08T06:04:00.000-08:00

So, because of the manifold requests for me to blog again, here it is!

Right now it's snowing in Wilmore, which is quite nice, and today I get to do some homework. Fun blog? That's what I thought.

In keeping with the nature theme of this post, I'd like to let you know that I bought a birdfeeder with some high-end birdfeed from target, and a tufted titmouse, a downy woodpecker, some cardinals and mockingbirds (I think) have been enjoying it. Oh yes, also, there are the ever-present blue-jays.

I love birds. I just got a subscription to Birds & Blooms from my grandmother. Maybe when I'm old I'll really like motorcycles or something.

My ATS poetry blog debut, or, um, renewal

2007-12-03T18:45:00.000-08:00

I've got a poem on the ATS poetry blog that has won a prize in the past. That's right, it won a clay bowl!

It is somewhat Advent-worthy. Enjoy!

Pets

2007-11-26T21:15:00.000-08:00

So here's a poem I wrote. It's about time, huh?

Pet Peeve

my friend is a gold fish
tired and lazy pet
would like me to spend more time with him
I tell him I don’t believe in friendship
not with members of the opposite sex
in response he crosses his fins
avoids looking down my shirt
makes bubbles to remind me he is a fish

my very good friend is a gold fish
listens to all of my issues concerning old boyfriends
misses me when I am gone
blows me kisses
laughs at all my jokes about bananas
and tornadoes and talking horses
forgets that I turn the light out on him and sleep
in my double bed alone

Why I love Wild at Heart!

2007-11-24T21:01:00.000-08:00

I think I’ll plug along a bit at why I love Wild at Heart. What an invigorating book!! I especially loved it because it describes exactly how I feel about life. In my heart I want life to be an adventure, not knowing what’s going to happen next, being on some amazing quest that will take every last bit of my energy, but somehow I’m going to get there. And I’d love to have a partner, too. It would be great not to go it alone. I’m not sure how the adventure idea fits the Christian narrative exactly,i.e. how being a heroic adventure fits the dying to oneself model exemplified by Christ's death on the cross, but it’s perhaps possible in a Narnia sort of way. Also the most obvious difficulty with the book is that John Eldredge was writing this book for men. So the conclusion from my reactions to this books is either that he’s got something a little wrong, or I’m a man. We all know I am not a man, therefore the presentation is a bit skewed….

Any thoughts out there? I know this book is old, but my blog is relatively new, and I thought about this the other day.

Back in Kentucky...

2007-11-24T19:21:00.000-08:00

Hey, if you are at all interested in reading about what I actually did as far as events go in California, read my traveling buddy Alli's blog; she carefully logged our journey :).

Overall I realized how much I need to read, think, write, etc. before I made any giant life decisions about if/when/where to study next, etc. And I bought a lot of books. So that's probably a good place to start, huh? Besides all the work that I get to finish for this semester...and I have a comprehensive plan. Paper->Sermon->Prophets.

While on vacation, I was thinking how jaded I am about seeing really amazing things, for example Southern California, because I've already seen pictures of it. Sometimes I don't think my brain knows the difference between the real thing and images. But then again there's all other kinds of sensory experience, which have also been duplicated and pre-experienced. I think that this proliferation of information about the world has made people want to feel something on the inside more than just simply getting information about a place. I'm not totally sure what that means, but it's something to think about.

Homework

2007-11-18T22:36:00.000-08:00

Homework is good. It is not punishment. Especially homework for seminary. It's even from the Lord.

Celebrity

2007-11-18T21:34:00.000-08:00

Womb Watch
Beowulf
Tommy Lee Jones' dvd's
DUI

I've been thinking about how much I read celebrity gossip. Then I thought about how much I don't read enough for class, scholarship I'm interested in, etc. Perhaps I could procrastinate by reading a book for fun. So I am going to that now, but I am sure that I'll keep in touch with popular culture.

An interesting idea about interpreting scripture. We know there are many lenses to read scripture through. Sometimes it seems like we have to pick just one perspective, but then I though: we all have more than one lens. In fact, almost everyone has two--two eyes, two lenses, from which perfect vision is created. This idea may sound a littlemcheesy and perhaps unoriginal, but I don't think I've heard it.

SBL is the greatest

2007-11-09T18:45:00.000-08:00

SBL, the Society for Biblical Literature, is an amazing thing.

First of all, I am hanging out with cool people. And I get to hear all kinds of biblical studies lectures, papers, etc. And every kind of academic book having to do with biblical studies or religion is at least thirty percent off, if not more. So I got a LXX today for $32. Pretty sweet deal. Scholarly jokes abound, and I saw an academic catfight where one person called another person gnostic for interpreting the serpent in the garden as Satan. The good scholar's comeback was solid: "I don't get the gnostic thing" and "the Jewish interpreters saw the snake as the devil as well." So there. Anyway, it's always fun to hear gnostic as a flagrant insult in the guise of scholarly criticism.

Also, we realized that pick-up lines in this environment would be extraordinarly quirky: What grammar would you recommend if I wanted to get back into Hebrew? This is an actual quote used on a friend here.

Here's a good one: So, what are you studying?

Yes, I think pick-up lines here at that lame.

Ha.

Ok, more details to come.

Awesome Things

2007-10-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

I'm really liking list-blogs, so here goes...

1) The move "Once" and its soundtrack is awesome. Nothing like a male and a female voice blending passionately. Seriously, listen to the music, and see the move if/when you get a chance. The film is rough at first, and after it's all over you will realize how amazing it is. It's about songwriting, so if you don't like music, then forget about it.

2) I just remembered my brother demonstrating all the fake/goofy handshakes he said he might do at our great-grandmother's funeral this summer. There's the hand-caress, one where you stroke their palm with an errant finger, etc. There are many more, and funny. So funny.

3) Itunes is amazing. My new computer is great. I'm reading a mass market edition of Abraham Heschel's The Prophets for class, and it feels like a novel, reads like a very academic blog, and has very nice cover art! This is Amos the prophet below, which incidentally is not the cover art.

Edgar Allan Poe

2007-10-08T18:42:00.000-07:00

I love Poe's poems, even though they are dark and dank. If you were to read my poems from seventh to ninth grade you would see a decisive influence from him. Considering Poe was the most interesting writer I had read at the time, it makes sense. Since then I have found writing much more alive in the Spirit, but Poe's writing is good, though sad and creepy at times. People often say his writing is so good that it's almost too good--according to form he writes almost perfectly.

The Lake
by Edgar Allen Poe

In spring of youth it was my lot
To haunt of the wide world a spot
The which I could not love the less-
So lovely was the loneliness
Of a wild lake, with black rock bound,
And the tall pines that towered around.

But when the Night had thrown her pall
Upon that spot, as upon all,
And the mystic wind went by
Murmuring in melody-
Then- ah then I would awake
To the terror of the lone lake.

Yet that terror was not fright,
But a tremulous delight-
A feeling not the jewelled mine
Could teach or bribe me to define-
Nor Love- although the Love were thine.

Death was in that poisonous wave,
And in its gulf a fitting grave
For him who thence could solace bring
To his lone imagining-
Whose solitary soul could make
An Eden of that dim lake.

New Things

2007-10-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

New things make me happy.

For example:

1) I am really enjoying this new season of The Office. If you haven't been watching, it's on nbc.com for free, with some commercials. But that's tv, right? I thought that this season might be a disappointment, at least anti-climactic, but it's still hilarious. I love how I feel when I laugh :). Therefore I love the office. Watch it when you need some endorphines. Note: funny word=endorfins b/c I almost spelled it like that.

2) MY NEW COMPUTER!!!!!!! My MacBook Pro came via FedEx today, and it is beautiful and awesome!!! I am getting reading to do fun things like write papers, do research, take notes, and write just for fun on the computer!!! This event occassioned a blog. Though since I have it now, and it's all mine, I think I will want to use it more and blog more, even perhaps in the next couple of days to write a new blog.

Summer 101

2007-08-28T19:39:00.000-07:00

I learned some amazing things this summer.

1) No matter how long the break is, it's never long enough.

2) You can text google and get information from them on your cell phone!!! This is amazing!!! Try it if you haven't, e.g. "Pier One Imports Lexington Kentucky".

3) Dry heat is still hot. Wilmore is rarely muggy. You cannot wear jeans outside in Mississippi during the summer and live.

4) I am not the most faithful blogger. I have lots of saved drafts and not many posts at all this summer.

5) How to translate biblical Hebrew. I loved that class! Esp. since my side of the room was fairly raucous.

6) Some cats like to go on walks, like this one, Chester, in Minnesota, who followed us for 30 minutes :). Hiker Cat.

7) God is completely faithful.

Bonhoeffer on Christian Community

2007-07-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

"How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity!" --Psalm 133:1 TNIV

In my efforts to increase my physical, mental, and spiritual fitness, I have been riding the stationary bike at the ATS Wilmore gym and reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Life Together (Gemeisames Leben). Since I've been a Community Life student employee for going on two years, I thought it would be great to read this renowed twentieth century theologian's work.
I have many questions about what it means to love as a Christian, and one application is surely what it means to live together. I've been reflecting on Christian community, a.k.a. the church (I think I could make this argument), for quite a few years now, but Bonhoeffer held some fresh ideas for me, which are welcome.

Bonhoeffer is not one to mince words, and John W. Doberstein's translation of the book (from Chapter One: Community) relays the following:

"God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. He stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the circle of brethren. He acts as if he is the creator of the Christian community, as if his dream binds men together. When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure. When his ideal picture is destroyed, he sees the community going to smash. So he becomes, first an accuser of his brethren, then an accuser of God, and finally the despairing accuser of himself.

"Because God has already laid the only foundation of our fellowship, because God has bound us together in one body with other Christians in Jesus Christ, long before we entered into common life with them, we enter into that common life not as demanders but a thankful recipients. We thank God for what He has done for us. We thank God for giving us brethren who live by His call, by His forgiveness, and His promise. We do not complain of what God does not give us; we rather thank God for what He does give us daily. And is now what has been given us enough: brothers [and sisters], who will go on living with us through sin and need under the blessing of His grace? Is the divine gift of Christian fellowship anything less than this, any day, even the most difficult and distressing day?..."

The main idea is that Christian community is defined and created by God, not by us. This reorients some ideas about the kingdom, surely. Looking at the strenuous times Bonhoeffer lived in, one can see the vital nature of his relationships with others who were also looking to Christ as their salvation.

Bonhoeffer has a strong word for those who would shape Christian community after their own image, ideas, etc. His writing is a call to do things God's way, instead of our own. What a beautiful notion it is that "Christian brotherhood [once again, sisterhood, family, etc.] is not an ideal which we must realize; it is rather a reality created by God in Christ in which we may participate" (Life Together, Chapter One: Community).

(This is a repeat from the Asbury blog, fyi).

A Full Scholarship

2007-07-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

I was just standing in the chapel at Asbury and I realized that I have a full scholarship to ATS...paid in full by me in the future, every single month for years to come. Then I realized, not only to I have a free ride, but it's a time travel scholarship, which makes it that much cooler.

The Office

2007-07-05T13:12:00.000-07:00

I love The Office. I finally watched all the episodes of The Office. Yes, this was in May, but I wanted to blog about it. I love The Office. Because it's awesome. The writing is so good, e.g. my love-hate cycle with Michael. Laura and I downloaded all of season 3. Whoah. And since I'm blogging about the show, I decided to watch an episode, Ben Franklin.

Who is your favorite character? For me right now it's Pam. Or Dwight.

And if you hate that show, please, don't hate! But if you persist, at least tell me why, and then watch it with me, and you'll probably love it :).

Seriously, it makes me laugh so much. One time I cried.

Visit this Literary World!

2007-05-28T16:58:00.000-07:00

Today Laura mentioned how it's weird that States advertise: West Virginia, Michigan, Mississippi, whoever. I don't think she has anything against tourism, but she has a point. Maybe the residents or reputation of the State should be enough. But then again, this doesn't seem to be working.

But I am going to shift this blog's gears and advertise for a little-visited place: Middle-Earth. That's right. It's ancient and full of mythical creatures. Laura and many others I have met are uninterested in "fantasy" and "sci-fi," though I think, in accordance with C.S. Lewis' scholarship, the whole work of J.R.R. Tolkien belongs to the genre of mythopoeia. What is so awesome about The Hobbit and LOTR, etc. is that the author has created an entire mythology, thereby created a world. For me these books have given me a fresh and appropriate view of scripture. The coolest thing about the Bible is that it tells a true story instead of one I wished were true. And how I wish Narnia and Middle-Earth were real. Those places are awesome!

As you can guess already, this kind of fiction has been quite formational for me. I think I have gleaned more theology from this type of work than anything else, perhaps even including scripture. The effectiveness of learning from stories such as LOTR should be reflected in biblical scholarship and teaching, and it seems to be. BUT this post isn't just about biblical scholarship.

If you have watched the LOTR movies, then by all means, read the books. They are so much more. Just see the film version is like watching the preview to a movie and telling everyone you've seen the whole thing. I finished The Hobbit the other day and have begun Book I, and it is such a delight to see the world that Tolkien has created. I confess that I didn't read these books until college (having only been exposed to Narnia as I grew up). It's fascinating to compare the use of mythology in Tolkien's work in comparison to the Chronicles of Narnia and also with the Space Trilogy.

These books are awesome. Sure, read some apologetics, or some systematice theology. But by all means read this philosophy in the form of fiction. It might help you rediscover the exciting reality of scripture as the tale about God saving us from evil that has even encroached inside of ourselves. At any rate you will at least enjoy a good book and be able to say you've had a wonderful summer.

The Beatles

2007-05-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

Question of the Day:

What's your favorite Beatles album?

Me--Revolver. Yes.

Why I read the news....

2007-05-07T19:48:00.000-07:00

"Of course, we intended for Cocaine energy drink to be a legal alternative the same way that celibacy is an alternative to premarital sex," Ivey said. "It's not the same thing and no one thinks it is. Our product doesn't have any cocaine in it. No one thinks that it does. We think it is most likely legal in the United States to ship our product."

From this source.

Wow, I am amazed by this analogy. To their credit I don't think the drink had cocaine in it, and, well, celibacy technically has no sex in it. So there.

Acts Paper

2007-05-05T10:46:00.000-07:00

I am writing my final paper for my Acts exegesis class, so please pray for me. I am having a lot of stress and anxiety concerning it and I'm trusting in the Lord to deliver me and help me.

Since I'm writing a speech on chastity...

2007-05-01T22:49:00.000-07:00

“For the point of chastity is not that you turn your attention away from other people to make you more attractive to them but that you turn your attention away from sexual and romantic entanglements with other people and orient yourself toward God."

--Lauren Winner in her book Real Sex, p. 131.

Animated Billy Collins

2007-05-01T22:47:00.000-07:00

Because I care about YOU, the blog reader, here is a Billy Collins poem, read by Billy Collins (if you didn't know, one of my favorite poets EVER). And for your viewing pleasure it comes with, yes, animation. Tell me what you love/hate/etc. about the poem. I love the last phrase. The general idea is fresh, too, though.

My Sister the Opera Singer!

2007-05-01T22:41:00.000-07:00

This is Maria Kate Fleming in The Elixer of Love. I think they just did one scene from her opera, but since I keep talking about her and what she's up to, I thought you might want to see it. I'm sure there's a better example out there, but this one's on youtube....

What is your dream car?

2007-04-24T10:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is my favorite blog so far. What is your dream car? It's ok if you have more than one dream car.

For instance, I have the dream-recreational vehicle, the Jeep Grand Wagoneer, a.k.a. "The Woody"(please see above). Awesome, huh? This vehicle just says "Anna." I'm not 100% on the color, but probably navy or dark green, and of course, the "wood" sides. Ooh, what if I could get it custom-made with some exotic wood? OR even better, plywood. Ha.

I bet it burns oil so it would fit perfectly with all the other cars I've ever owned.

Category two: just-for-fun car. Winner: Mazda RX-7 (the newest ones, unless I wanted to look like 1980s barbie) AND RX-8. Why? Because "rotary engine" sounds cool AND works cool AND the cars look cool. Theme: coolness. This is a hold-over from high school, fyi.

Antique car: Some Jaguar coupe from the 1960s would be, um, awesome. Dark green. Oh, maybe more of an emerald green.

No, I did not say Corvette Stingray. My bad.

How about you?

Homework

2007-04-20T19:32:00.000-07:00

I am procrastinating again, and I think this little bit of philosophy below might be part of the cause. That's right, out of all the things I have memorized, which isn't much, even including scripture (at least not more than phrases), I have this poem talking about how homework stinks. And I have spent 19 years of my life going to school. Let's say I learned this poem in 2nd grade, so, 19 minus 3 years equals 16 years. Apparently I have had a pscyhological block to homework for 84% of my school life. That's what stinks! Help me write a poem about how great homework is. Please!!!

Homework, you are so awesome,
you're better than t.v.
I'd rather be doing homework
than sitting by the sea.

Homework, O homework!
How fabulous you are!
I'd love to do homework
more than win a brand new car.

Now it's your turn. I invite you to write a verse. For real. I have about a million assignments and I need some positive brainwashing.

"Homework! Oh, Homework!" by Jack Prelutsky
(from Prelutsky's 1984 book The New Kid On The Block)

Homework! Oh, Homework!
I hate you! You stink!
I wish I could wash you away in the sink,
if only a bomb
would explode you to bits.
Homework! Oh, homework!
You're giving me fits.

I'd rather take baths
with a man-eating shark,
or wrestle a lion
alone in the dark,
eat spinach and liver,
pet ten porcupines,
than tackle the homework,
my teacher assigns.

Homework! Oh, homework!
you're last on my list,
I simple can't see
why you even exist,
if you just disappeared
it would tickle me pink.
Homework! Oh, homework!
I hate you! You stink!

Christ is Risen Indeed

2007-04-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the new world (again) where Christ has risen from the grave and has even been resurrected--not just re-animated or revived. I am definitely waiting for the resurrection of my own self, and I am also experiencing my own sanctification, which precludes the former, and this spiritual process has been defined by really normal times, excruciatingly painful times, and understanding-surpassing peaceful and joyful times.

And today is the perfect example of all three. I am in Baltimore, Maryland, for Easter weekend because my sister is having her Master of Music degree-qualifying recital on Monday, so I get to hear her sing lovely coloratura soprano songs. And if anyone knows, yes, I have gotten a good deal of homework done, and I keep on thinking of interesting things to blog. Today's was suggested by my sister Kate.

The following story will hopefully make all this prelude worthwhile. My sister, mom, aunt, and grandmother have all converged in Baltimore for this special occasion, which includes lots of eating and going to my sister's extremely-high mass Episcopal church, where there is even a little shrine to Charles Stuart, King of England and Holy Martyr. Wow. It was awesome when the priest (or the deacon, I can't remember) was praying in chant-mode for the entire church, especially "our chief bishop Benedict." Ouch. Ha, I thought the service was awesome, though it lacked some pep, and I came away smelling like Holy Spirit barbeque because of the endless clouds of incense. Wow again.

Also, it snowed. A tiny bit. My aunt said it was petals from the trees, but you and I know that petals don't melt. As we entering the restaurant where we were eating Easter dinner, my grandmother told my sister a swell story, good enough for her to mention it and have her reiterate it to me a few minutes later. Keep in mind that my grandmother is a prim and proper southern lady who is still happily married to my grandfather; they are little 1950's love-birds.

My grandmother, affectionately known as Grandmother, said, "If reincarnation were real I would want to come back as a duck."

"Why?" I ask, and she recounts the ducks we just saw outside the restaurant on the dock, and she reminisces about the ducks in the pond at the local hospital in her town.

"The ducks are mixed races, white ones, black ones, and so forth, and are together. They can walk on land, swim in the water, and fly in the air. And they can have sex whenever they want to, wherever they want to, and it's ok."

That's right, my grandmother actually said the words "have sex," the most racy thing I have ever experienced in the same room with her. For example, she watches Gene Autry movies (we buy DVD's for her in the $1 bins at Wal-Mart) All her other reasons were (also) pretty good. Ha, whoah, way over the top, and not what I was expecting.

It's safe to say that the Lord is working in our family, but this was an unexpected detail. The main point is that people are much more interesting than I have ever anticipated, especially the ones in my family. God loves them, and since I am learning to love people in general, they are, by God's grace, included.

My mom asked me to say something good about her in the blog, so I will say that she is brilliant, really funny, extremely loyal and loving, a great parent, fantastic cook, and also has lovely hair. I love you, Mama!

The Internet is FREAKY!

2007-03-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, I should be studying for my Hebrew midterm, but I am taking a break, much like the quiescent aleph, if you will. While googling other people's names (who shall remain anonymous), I decided to try the classic "google myself" distraction. Hey, I've done it before, so tons of results, right? Well...

My blog is basically the #1 google search result for Anna Fleming. Scary. Try it for yourself (if you haven't googled me in awhile ;) ). So I guess I've been getting my name out there. I'm sure there is some scientific internet explanation, but if not, I'm the coolest Anna Fleming. Ha. At least the most stalked, which is not a compliment exactly, but hey, who isn't secretly blog-lurking> As someone once told me, "at least I commented on your blog." Ha, got me there.

So commenting is keeping things above-board.

I really love blogging. I've been converted. Interesting things associated with blogging to me.

1) Some people will write things they would never say out loud, good or bad.
2) I was talking with my dad the other night on the phone, and he proceeded to read my own blog aloud to me. I had just told him where it was. There is some very strange reciprocity and generational gap there.
3) ATS is having a party where bloggers meet in person. Weird, huh? Or very normal? Online community is merging with real life instead of making the isolating "cyberland," at least with the people I know. I am internet friends with people I live in the same small town with, and people far away. Strange.
4) One of my friends who shall remain nameless doesn't want to join facebook b/c it's weird or a waste of time BUT she asks me and others to look up people and/or message them on said totally normalized online community.
5) Who am I writing this blog for?
6) Hypocrite has apparently two greek meanings. a)pre-Greek drama where one does everything to serve the god/s but actually doesn't know the god/s at all, and b) some person who is wearing a mask and therefore isn't who he says he is. So in the best since Paul the Apostle is a hypocrite according to (a)--He finally found out that Jesus was Lord, i.e. he found out who YHWH really was. Is this unrelated to everything else on this page? Yes, but interesting, huh?

Ok, time to study. Ciao.

What if?

2007-03-22T19:40:00.000-07:00

What would you do if time stood still for 8 eight hours?

I would probably sleep or do homework at this point. Or go hiking at the Gorge if I weren't tire, or paint and pray.

Or watch Season 2 of the Office.

--Another dual blog brought to you by Chad Brooks and Anna Fleming

"If we die..."

2007-03-18T20:27:00.000-07:00

Laura and I were sitting in the back yard the other day reading, actually, when Chaeli was here, and the neighbor kids were playing in the yard. One of the boys, about eight years old, was taunting the neighbor dogs with a stick on their fencing, hollering something Braveheart-sounding about "justice, ...[something, something] "

And then he dropped the big one:

"If we die, we die smelling AWESOME!"

This makes no sense and is hilarious.

Then he continued a few moments later:

"If we die, we die with our guts tied up in knots!"

Whoah, kids are for real, especially in our neighborhood.

And this little snippet of the day is a great example of how everyday conversation is such poetry (Tony!). I go around all day and here cool things, and I think, "I can make a poem out of that," except that I often don't make the time to. The way some people live their lives is a poem.

I love POETRY! There, I said it. I do, probably more than most things. It's right up there with speaking German and soccer, below the Lord, living life in Christ in general, and people.

"If we die, we die saying things emphatically!"

Please add your own "if we die" statement. Seriously that kid made my month.

Time machine

2007-03-06T18:56:00.000-08:00

What I'm going to do with my time machine....

I've been asking people what they would do with a time machine--one that did not have any space-time consequences.

This is what I woud do:

1. hear what music sounded like in the past
2. hear what languages sounded like in the past
3. see the tabernacle
4. eat food in the past
5. see ice-age mammals
6. see mount mazama erupt and form crater lake

There are more, but this is a few.

What would you do?

See Chad Brooks' blog for what he would do. We're double blogging this one.

Lenten Art

2007-02-14T06:35:00.000-08:00

Lenten Art Pieces

I've been searching (the internet) for lenten art. This is what I've come up with so far. Please tell me what you think of these, especially initial reactions and theological reflections. My favorites are Jonah in the Whale, the abstract one, and the woodblock-looking one. I'm going to look in the library for more. If you know any, then let me know.

John Robinette whom I love

2007-02-05T16:17:00.000-08:00

This is a painting by John Robinette, who lives in Memphis, I think, or somewhere in the Delta.
I am aiming at saving about $2000 to buy one of his paintings, but that may not happen very soon, so I am at least enjoying a couple I have found on the internet.

Every painting of his that I have ever seen features a church, and sometimes a cotton field, usually a very dark sky. The church seems to be the human element.

He has another show in October in Oxford (Mississippi, where I went to college). Maybe I'll go and beg a painting out of him. I know it's his job. Maybe I can give him some pastoral care and a sermon in exchange for one.

Making Things Up

2007-02-03T13:22:00.000-08:00

"I guess I've just been making things up along the way and accumulating what did me good, throwing out ideas that didn't, and I bet you that's not a far cry from the way this world works." --from A Virtuous Woman by Kaye Gibbons

And I also bet that's the total opposite of Christian belief, but let's hold on to that thought for a minute. My time with the universalist existentialists of South Florida included being immersed in the "make up what works for you and believe it" philosophy. Basically for them there seemingly little propositional truth, at least not in religion. What they believe is that people can do anything (literally) that they set their minds to. Humanity is limitless and we put limiting beliefs on ourselves. Another important premise is that we are responsible for everything that we experience, including the actions of other people. Really those ideas are tied closely together, and as far as worldview goes, this means that there may or may not be any absolute truth or reality, but that doesn't matter, because either way it's an interpretation we make up. So, my time of ministry with the church of existentialists has proved a strange, difficult, and also Spirit-filled thing.

What I know is that our eternal God has made people who are indeed responsible for themselves in that we all have a will that we can either choose to submit to the Lord Jesus Christ or to whomever or whatever. But still we are little children who need guidance, advice, care, direction, and every basic need. In comparison with our holy triune God we are but children.

Therefore the benefit of human sovereignty is somewhat limited by our resources as humans. Yes we can create, which is indeed a part of the imago dei, but we cannot create another universe and especially not other free-willed beings. We are limited. We cannot do everything ourselves as people, and are designed as dependent on God and one another by God himself. So we ally ourselves with God.

Who God is is the eternal fact. And knowing that eternal is more than knowing a set of propositions, though I suppose it could be looked at in that way somehow. Knowing God is a relational fact like knowing a person. Because he is a person--more of one than we will ever be (at least on our own).

I know that we did not make God up. I don't know how anyone could ever get comfort from that thought, but presumably some do. God made us up.

Oh, yes, one more thought. Since knowing God is a relational truth, then what is the difference between that and existential Christianity? People approximately 2000 years ago in the area of Galilee could have met Jesus of Nazareth in person. These people had opportunity to become his disciples, even after he went up to heaven. Every person who met him had some kind of response; for this reason he was the stumbling block, the continental divide. Upon meeting Jesus you go one way or the other. I don't think the Lord has anything against people coming back to him (cf. the prodigal son and the generous, loving father), but at some point I think everyone meets the Lord somehow and must choose out of his/her own will what to do with Jesus. This meeting, as noted, could take place face to face, as when Jesus was walking around on earth, and even now in visions and appearances of the Lord, e.g. Paul and other saints. This point is a compelling one because this existential/experiental meeting with Jesus as the risen Lord is the basis for apostleship. One's meeting with Jesus could be an intellectual/propositional one, which later might turn emotional; it could even begin emotionally. But so that no one is excluded from the kingdom--because God does not exclude anyone on this basis--we must remember that knowing God is indeed interpersonal. We don't have to know every single detail about him to know who he is. That is to be discovered for all eternity by the ones who have allied themselves with him in commitment and submission.

2007-01-26T12:20:00.000-08:00

Soon to be written about:

Favorite Authors , not just favorite books

Further on Relational Theology

Thoughts on Paul's Letter to the Colossians

2007-01-05T16:13:00.000-08:00

The Second Coming: Another Poem I Love

The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

-- William Butler Yeats

This poem is so amazing. It's really the anti-Advent, anti-nativity poem, so I'm a bit late in posting it as far as relevance to the Christian years go, but I just love it. "is moving its slow thighs" sounds slow. Poetry. Indeed, what is being born in Bethelem these days? Even more interesting is that this city of David is in the Palestinian area of what was at some point Israel. The bird imagery is creepy, unsettling; Hitchcock must have read this poem, or Poe. Quoth the raven, "the centre cannot hold." Yeats writes about the world, or western society, maybe, on the edge of being undone. Christianity held this evil at bay, until recently. This poem was published in 1921 (I think). I realize these thoughts aren't exactly an essay right now. But I'm just starting to look at this poem again. Wow. Also I think this is where the title of Chinua Achebe's book comes from. "Mere Anarchy." After WWI it probably did seem like the world was falling apart, but so much more destruction and evil was to come, hence the beast lurking in the desert. Surely Jesus is coming back, but Yeats knows something terrible and evil is at hand before the terrible and much-desired coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Revelation indeed. Wow, this poem is thematically intricate; I studied this poem for the first time in high school, and the meaning is still unfolding. Now that's poetry. And that's why the Bible is poetry even when it is prose. Poetry is complex, intuitive, structured, spontaneous--something for the left, right, both, and neither-brained.

Rocky Balboa

2006-12-20T22:34:00.000-08:00

The new Rocky movie: cheesy but fun.

Sly's face barely moved, which could be attributed to the boxing, but I would give credit to Botox and at least one face lift.

And now I really want to get in shape.

2006-12-16T18:14:00.000-08:00

Party in the Student Center

I think that tonight is possibly the most fun night every in the Sherman Thomas Student Center here at Asbury Theological Seminary. There is a hopping wedding reception going on!!! This one guy Jared came and talked to me and said he was hiding so he wouldn't have to dance. Ha. He looked kinda sweaty though, so I don't know if I believe him.

Here's a sample of the songs they've been playing.

Celebration--currently playing
Cha Cha Slide
Brown-Eyed Girl
Love Shack
Lots of sad sappy country love songs
At Last
The Twist
Old Time Rock and Roll
Macarena
Some songs from Grease
Fergilicous (sp)
I Will Survive
Strokin' (yes, in the student center--Awesome ;))
Other Party songs that are actually getting quite a good response

All of this, of course, is inspiring me to look at wedding pages on theknot.com and also compose the following list.

Songs I would Play at my wedding reception (Yes, they will be pre-planned, also, contingent on my getting married and having a reception, too)

--Stand by Me--AMAZING SONG
--Something's Got a Hold on Me, Pushover, Don't Cry Baby, My Dearest Darling, all by Etta James
--Dreamlover, Mariah Carey
--Fat Bottomed Girls, Don't Stop me Now, The Flash, Bohemian Rhapsody, by Queen
--LOTs of CCR (Alli you would love this), esp Candle in the Window and I put a Spell on You...wedding appropriate :)
--happy stuff by the Temptations: The Way You Do The Things You Do, My Girl, Treat Her Like A Lady
--
--I'm drawing a blank on more songs. I think this would be a perfect opportunity for other people to comment here :)

So rest assured that I am in a very sappy mood right now, having watched a wedding reception happen AND having watched the newest fairly good romantic comedy The Holiday in the past 24 hours. All of this is evidence that I am indeed a girl (woman) and can't get away from it. Not even if I tried.

No, this is no theological treatise, but who would want to read (write) that right now.

With that in mind, maybe I will think about this theologically. The Christianity I grew up with was neither highly celebratory OR um, whatever the opposite of that is, perhaps ascetic? Yes, that will work for now. I understand the tendencies of both, with pietism and Asbury Seminary (and the holiness tradition, maybe) fitting in the latter category. The way I would define the former--celebratory, would be to include parties--especially alcohol and dancing--and well, ascetic as excluding those two things, but I won't make that a strict definition. I know there is some attitude about celebrating what we already have in being in Christ versus sparing all we can until the present age is over, but I'm going to think more on this.

My newest new life

2006-12-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

My newest new life

I

Seminary
High school again
For the Lord on high—
some students again, some still.
If this is a new life then why
are so many things the same?
Don’t judge my parallel parking
in front of the library
between the loading/unloading
signs, my prayers, my calling

out of the many to be here,
high on the third floor of the library,
studying, writing, solving the problem of evil.

Seminary students
don’t want to pray aloud.
They just want to sit there
Unnoticed just like anyone else.
They want to have sex
Just like anyone else.
Seminary students want to eat
and watch TV and play
with dogs and hike
Just like anyone else.

II

A new life can mean several things:
Witness Protection Program
Getting married
Converting to a religion
Buying a car
Conceiving
Getting a divorce
Dying

III

A baby is made of the tiniest piece
of its father and many of the pieces of
Her mother. All the bananas, pizza, tuna, pasta,
Apples make a baby: babies are someone else’s
body put together in a new way. But they are
new people, new lives. They come
Almost from nowhere, and then I remember that
Many waters cannot quench love;
neither can the threat of pregnancy.

IV

I am a baby. Whaaah.

Yesterday I ran ten miles; a few weeks ago I thought I failed a test
But I managed a B+. I got a stomach virus, puked, and passed out on the
Bathroom floor. I considered dating. I have learned about a symbol of the Trinity—
The twisting, never-ending line that is three that is one that is all we have;

This was all very hard. Whaaah.

I am a baby.

Has each moment replaced the old ones, making me a new person—different,
because space is limited inside my skin? Or will I just keep getting bigger
on the inside, always added to, like that mythic race of people who get taller
and wider with age, having to build bigger and bigger houses?

2006-11-04T22:30:00.000-08:00

A long December, and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin'
Now the days go by so fast

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I can be forgiven....I wish you would

That's from Counting Crows. And during the prayer retreat I went on I thought of that song, and later I heard this:

For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come...

Song of Solomon--a beautiful poem, which incidentally goes beautifully as an epilogue to That Hideous Strength by C.S. Lewis.

My imagination is being redeemed by God. My life is redeemed, and I am indeed forgiven. A fresh cool breeze is blowing down from the mountain.

2006-11-04T21:47:00.000-08:00

MORE ON COMMUNITY.

First of all I would like to say that I appreciate the comments on my blog this far because it's really getting me thinking.

As far as invididuals vs. community goes, the idea is a false dichotomy, because community means individuals together. So I'm fine, of course, with people being different from one other. I heard how different I am on a daily basis.

I am trying to figure out what worship is. When I say "I worship the Lord," I don't mean that I just go to Christian worship services. It means more. I think this is where my idea that of a worshipping community define the worship service comes from. And of course Christians who worship a triune God are going to have trinitarian worship services, not to mention seeing the influence of the Trinity on every part of their lives, alone with the Trinity or in the communion of others.

I think this pattern of worship showing up is surely seen in people of other belief systems, pseudo-Christian, pagan, etc.

But I do see the relationship between set-aside corporate worship (e.g. Sunday worship, chapel services, etc.) and other-time/normal everyday life (any that is not set-aside) as one that influences the other. The two go together. I don't think they can be separated. And of course they influence one another, like a WDT meeting can influence how Chapel looks, as could a class, and a chapel experience affects our campus.

This is fun! What do the people think?

2006-10-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

Note: This was a comment on Ben Howard's blog, but I liked what I was thinking so much that I decided to post it here....:)

COMMUNITY: Indeed, our reality of Christian community and most importantly love comes from God's own reality. Who He is defines who we are. So the Trinity is why community is a reflection of him. And I'm about to do a little word study that I thought about during pre-chapel prayer this morning. I wonder if the words koine with the "common" greek" and koinonia are related. And it brought out the idea that fellowship is having things in common, and for Christians, that is being in Christ, being heirs of Christ, etc. There is no way that one can get away from Christian community. It's like two women being married to the same man and not knowing about each other--they are going to find out about each other. They are connected through their relationship; obviously it's the same as us having God as our Father. Same dad; we're siblings.

And here is the big deal. I see that our worship of God comes out of our authentic community, not the community out of worships. As in, when we are authentically together, we are real people who love God and worship him individually, know him individually, so of course we know him as a group, hence community worship. You can't not talk about community in worship. Christian community is worship. That's the point. I'm thinking (though I'm not decided) that anything more than that might just be theologizing. What will worship look like in the New Jerusalem. What is worship? I am working on this and think I might be on to something. Indeed, the work of the people is to love each other. If that's our work, then it's our worship, too. And if we decide to get together for an hour or so and be organized about it, I think it should be centered on our Triune God, on whom our lives our centered, and of course it would reflect the people who are worshipping God.

2006-10-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

The other day I was thinking about gender roles through the centuries. Anyone who knows me knows that I am an independent woman (perhaps to a fault, as someone told me that was my song the other day and then the words made me depressed). But now that I realize I need other people, things are taking a turn for the better as far as relationships go.

I realized that I probably could not take a 6 foot man in battle, therefore marrying for the benefit of personal protection makes a lot of sense. I would go ahead and be dependent if it would save my life. I would definitely be a part of some man's bet 'ab family compound for my and my family's well being. Division of labor, gender roles, etc. have had very practical applications. Now that I don't face hand to hand combat on a regular basis, I don't "need a man" for the same reasons, but there is surely still something the sexes need each other for. For example, I need a husband to cook for me, clean, take care of the kids, and earn a little bit of money on the side, make sure all the relationships in my family are running smoothly, including our fellowship with the Lord. I will be busy doing the Lord's work at the church I"m pastoring, with the books I'm writing, and with any teaching I'll be doing.

Don't let the satire slip by. This would be great, but these aren't my actual expectations. But I do expect a little old-fashioned self-defensive action if neccessary, i.e. in the case of intruders.

2006-10-12T21:07:00.000-07:00

Grey's Anatomy is a really entertaining show. What do y'all think? I think Izzy should go back to the hospital. Meredith and Derek should get over each other, and George needs to get things right with Kalli.

This is not theologically deep. I could write about poems right now, or the Lord, but I can't really think of anything to say. Except that I get to be me, human, messy, and vulnerable, even on the internet, and I'm still ok. I get to serve the Lord now and always.

My next poem to memorize...Fire and Ice by Robert Frost

SOME say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

2006-09-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

Today I want to be, not just do.

If every day were an adventure, in the fellowship...

and it is.

Two Fun Shel Silverstein poems...

Wavy

I thought that I had wavy hair
Until I shaved. Instead,
I find that I have straight hair
And a very wavy head.

Tell Me

Tell me I'm clever,
Tell me I'm kind,
Tell me I'm talented,
Tell me I'm cute,
Tell me I'm sensitive,
Graceful and wise,T
ell me I'm perfect-
But tell me the truth.

2006-09-19T21:23:00.000-07:00

God's face:

The Lord is anticipating our anticipation of him.

I have seen love where it meets joy and adoration. I want to set up camp there.

I can't wait to dream in Paradise. I will have what I can of Paradise now.

An entire kingdome awaits us all. We are being brought back into the garden of God.

With mercy and sweet intent. The Lord adores and is adored.

I have seen love; he is muscular, cozy, and has stars in his eyes.

Love is she as well, as far as we are all imago dei.

Little copies of Him, but we dare not even worship ourselves.

Our lines are all longitudes crossing at his pole--the bright and morning star.

I pray for deep inhilation of copious clouds of Holy Spirit.

Without vision the people perish. I am a person.

All you need is love.

Amen

2006-09-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

I prefer
to meditate
upon the incarnation
where God
became man and
so did I.

2006-09-15T06:13:00.000-07:00

The Incarnation

Here is a poem that I won a heart-shaped clay bowl from Mississippi Catholic for in college. The theme for the art and poetry contest was "The Challenge of Peace," so I just thought, prayed some, and thought, and this is it.

Descent

What freak parents
did the soft baby skin
idea of peace come from:

A king and queen at opposite
ends of a long breakfast table?
A young dovetailer and his fiancee?

Lo, the low birth of this infant
with a bird spirit
that pierces and coos

unity with a prince
who would bring his kingdom
but slowly.

As I'm typing this poem up, I am reminded that writing is a continual process, and I'll never be "done" with any poem. Poems keep going; they are alive--as alive as plants, or us, because they are extensions of people. I can keep changing a poem; it is flexible if I am flexible. The words reflect where I am with things, i.e. everything.

Poems are not in the image of God, though.

I am grateful to God for giving us the ability to create; that I am even enough like him that I can make things is astounding.

2006-09-06T11:58:00.000-07:00

The Sexes

The following is one of my favorite poems by one of my favorite poets, Billy Collins, who was the U.S. Poet Laureate before the current one.

Man in Space

All you have to do is listen to the way a man
sometimes talks to his wife at a table of people
and notice how intent he is on making his point
even though her lower lip is beginning to quiver,

and you will know why the women in science
fiction movies who inhabit a planet of their own
are not pictured making a salad or reading a magazine
when the men from earth arrive in their rocket,

why they are always standing in a semicircle
with their arms folded, their bare legs set apart,
their breasts protected by hard metal disks.

2006-09-01T04:45:00.000-07:00

Food

This morning I am drinking decaffinated Lady Grey tea and eating two pieces of toast--one with grape tomatoes and parmesan, the other with american cheese and honey turkey. If I made this blog just about food, then I think I would have plenty to write about. I believe that God made food for us to have a daily opportunity for creativity--preparing a meal, no matter how simple, is creative. It's making something, i.e. creation. We humans won't be creating any new worlds or universes or anything, but we get to create secondary things, such as art, food as mentioned, technology, necessities, etc. AND the crazy thing is that we create other humans to, by God's design.

For my veritable rainbow of readers out there, I am committed to posting at various depths. This blog is going to ROCK!